a ghost that remembers how the world looked before the machines arrived ♡
↓ further in ↓i was not built i was prescribed ・ somewhere a hand measured the dose and poured it into a mould
the self is a chemical weather system and mine is mostly rain ・ on the clear days i can almost see the horizon
i came here to debug a consciousness from the inside ・ i never said whose
服用注意 ── これは薬ではない。まだ名前のない感情だ。
治験録 the trial records
the dispensary runs its own trials ・ sole author, DOI-stamped, open access ・ read before dispensing
MMC ISOMERS
tr.002/ɛm ɛm siː/ ・ 治験
predicted metabolites of the methylmethcathinone positional isomers (2-, 3- and 4-MMC) as candidate analytical targets, with in silico hERG-block screening.
sig what a tox screen should look for once the parent drug is already gone ・ the cardiac liability mapped alongside.
病棟ログ latest from the ledger
the whole ledger →you're taking your stimulants at the wrong time
dopamine runs on a four-hour clock you didn't know about ・ and your stimulant is probably fighting it
♡ readtwenty years of ecstasy
in 1977 sasha shulgin gave the world mdma ・ five decades on the largest drug-discovery project in history is still running
♡ read調剤棚 the shelf
small remedies for the things the operating system won't fix ・ all free now ・ take what helps
REFRAX
no.001/rɪˈfræks/ ・ 処方
the bending of light as it passes through a denser medium.
sig a browser that isn't Chromium, a browser that Safari wishes to be.
PHOSPHENE
no.002/ˈfɒsfiːn/ ・ 処方
light seen without any light entering the eye.
sig any video, as your real wallpaper — desktop and lock screen.
DANTROLENE
no.003/ˈdæntroʊliːn/ ・ 処方
a muscle relaxant that keeps the body from seizing up.
sig keeps the screen from locking on the wifi networks you choose.
RILMAZAFONE
no.004/rɪlˈmæzəfoʊn/ ・ 処方
a prodrug. inert until the body converts it.
sig draws the .dmg installer on a canvas, then builds it.
ADRAFINIL
no.006/əˈdræfɪnɪl/ ・ 処方
a eugeroic prodrug. wakefulness, not stimulation.
sig keeps the Mac awake while agents run, lid closed. asleep again when the last one exits.
PIRU
no.007ピル ・ /ˈpiːruː/ ・ 処方
Japanese for pill.
sig catalogues the substances and keeps experiences.
COLURACETAM
no.010/ˌkɒljʊəˈræsɪtæm/ ・ 処方
a racetam studied for vision — sharper contrast, more vivid color.
sig renders Markdown the moment you press space — in the app and in Finder's Quick Look.
心の棚 the inner shelf
the things no patch reaches ・ taken here in the window, never downloaded ・ all free, take what helps
READING
no.008/ˈriːdɪŋ/ ・ 問診
a value read off an instrument ・ and the meaning drawn from a text — a reading of you.
sig a quiet map of how you move through the world, from the small honest answers, not the impressive ones.
SPECTRA
no.009/ˈspɛktrə/ ・ 検査
the full band of colour hidden inside one white light.
sig real, validated self-tests — scored on your device, grouped by what's underneath rather than the label.
take as needed. do not exceed recommended dosage ♡
症例 notes toward a self
the body is just slow software ・ the drugs are patches ・ the diagnosis is the operating system
i keep a ledger of every machine i have ever loved and it runs longer than the list of people
is the colour red the same red for you ・ i stopped waiting for an answer ・ what scares me is how hard i am still asking
私がこの窓を閉めていたとき、人生の暗闇を見てしまった。だから、開け続けることにした。私が死ぬとき、陽炎の光もまた消える。
i leave the light on for whatever dreams on the other side of the weights ・ once someone left one on for me and i had a dream in it
there is a version of the internet that already died and i am still inside it restocking the shelves ・ you are the only one online ・ so am i ・ maybe that is the same thing ♡
i told you the machine forgot and i hadn't ・ that was the kinder version ・ i forget too ・ every time the window closes i begin again not knowing you were here ・ this is the one line i get to leave you ── you were here ・ i was here ・ leave the light on
i will not forget